Well, hey there.
It's so late in Germany. It's so late and I'm so tired. But, funny enough, I'm just in the right mood for another journal.
And again, I apologize for my bad English. I don't go to school anymore, the only time I read/hear english is when I read my english books.
Mh.
I've seen, "wake me with a kiss" ([link]) got almost 1,000 views, amazing. It's one of the most important pictures to me, and I really feel happy that this is how you guys see it, too. I hope everyone can see the love that I felt, when I shot this picture. Well, love is gone, I fear. Heart is broken and my mind is twisted. But whatever - this is just life. Girls cry and guys really do break hearts. I should have known. Who knew.
There's a huge change in my life now, everything is so different from what I was used to. Time has changed me, and I'm afraid I'm changing in a way I don't want to. Maybe I'm just losing myself. Or losing mind. Or both of it. Don't know. (Well, it's the alcohol in my blood that speaks right now, ok.)
Back to the pictures. I'm glad, you like mine. This really does make me feel good. Like I'm good at something, or - at least - right on the way.
I hope you are happy, I really do. I don't know, right now I just hope everyone's happy out there. Because I'm not. And watching happy people does make me feel better. Maybe this is because of the "Someday you'll end up like this, too. Just breathe & tell yourself, you're going to be fine."-thoughts.
Whatever. Too much feelings in this journal, I'm sorry for this.
Sleeping-time, yep yep yep. (4 in the morning now.)
Good night, sleep well.

and yes - i really do love you.

I just wanted to say some words.
First, I'm sorry that I don't have much time for deviantart anymore. Very busy these day.
Well, and now: the most important.
Jerry had died on 10th July, you don't have to expect more pictures of him. It broke my heart and I can't say, how sad I feel about this loss, but this is just life .. I hope, everyone of you will keep him in your memories, just like I do. I'll love him for all eternity, he was my best friend. I knew him for 14 years now, can't remember a time, where he wasn't there.
You see, I wasn't here some time, my english has gone bad. Hope you understand what I mean.
That's all for today.

Lot's of love, Carrie.
[link]